Posts

Showing posts from 2014

Amazon Reviews - The Best & Funniest Lines

Vacuum Cleaners:

"Charged 24 hours before first use. have kept plugged in constantly. Worked 3 or 4 times, used for less than a minute each time. Now it immediately loses almost all power a second after switching on. It has the suction power of an asthmatic cat. Garbage."

"tough to pick up a dead ant"

"Household Occupants: A 2 yr old chocolate milk junkie, a 6 yr old food spilling champion and a senior chihuahua who doesn't always make it to her doggie pad."


Paper Shredders:


Call this Bob Marley cause it ALWAYS BE JAMMIN!

Chocolates:

OMG, this SAVED me from so many possible future arguments. You have NO idea. Word of advice to anyone with a girlfriend that is addicted to chocolate, don't let her run out!!! Just trust me on this, you'll thank me later. Get the chocolate in bulk. No, it won't make her fat. Yes, she'll love you even more for it. And you will be happy when she's happy because she will not turn into a demon spawn from hell…

Metra Ride - Crazy experience

"To open the door or not open the door?".... "The man he was accused of killing and was sent to jail for, is alive" . The woman was sitting in the middle of the top deck of the train compartment. Oblivious to her companion travelers'  indifference she continued to spit out these non sequiturs. The companions were, relatively speaking, doing extremely sane things, one woman was reading a book on " Stress Testing "... One was working on a packet of potato treats like they were going out of fashion soon.. most of the others were aurally wired to their music boxes. Now she pulled out her comb and manically or methodically brushed the fringe of hair in the front... I was of course furiously trying to capture the various non reactions of the other passengers. " the next station will be....... " came the announcement over the train speakers.. "The next station will be what?!?!.. She exclaimed.. Surprising everyone with a bit of lucid observati…